


Hélianthe

by DreamInblue



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5842720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamInblue/pseuds/DreamInblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun is dying but Jongin makes him feel alive. Jongin wants to die but Sehun will become his reason to live.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hélianthe

**Theme song:[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdqT3MDAG2w)**

 

"Is it time already?"

"Yes, it is! Come on, we need to go now"

"Wait, wait...Is my hair okay?"

"More than okay. You look perfect. They will surely all fall for you" Sehun smiled and ran down the stairs to kiss his mother on the cheek.

"Enjoy your night, boys. But don't forget to come home before sunrise, ok Sehun?" He only rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I know, you tell me that everytime. Anyway, we're going! Bye, mom!" He blew her a kiss making her smile.

"Bye, Mrs Oh!" Baekhyun shouted behind him as they were already making their way outside. As they closed the door, refreshing but still warm air made its way through their clothes and they shivered a little before they walked to the older's car. It was a friday night in the middle of june and the two of them were to go to a group blind date arranged by one of their friend. Of course, they accepted. 

Sehun knew he would most likely find nobody tonight because he was gay. Totally gay. 

But it was ok, he was still going to talk to new people and be a moral support for his bestfriend. 

"Why are you so nervous?" Baekhyun kept on figdeting on his seat and on taping his fingers on the steer wheel.

"I heard Taeyeon is gonna be there" Sehun's mouth formed an "o" before he smirked "The girl you have a crush on since elementary school?" 

He chuckled as his bestfriend visibly blushed "Shut up! Don't you dare say unnecessary things there or I'll kill you" 

Sehun hummed before he turned his head to look through the window. Apart from cars and buildings, there wasn't anything else to look at.

_Ugly. Where did the nature go?_

He sighed. They were in the middle of Seoul after all. The only things that mattered here were the appearance, money and fame. People were all fake. They all wanted to be appreciated but never for what they are. They change themselves for people who doesn't care and it is a pity, really. But then, what would Sehun knows? 

He never really lived. 

If things weren't like they were now, maybe he would be like the people he despises, he thinks. Maybe he would fake his smiles and be untrue to himself. Maybe he would not be like the Sehun he is now. 

"You didn't forget to put your cream, right?" Baekhyun glanced at him before he looked back at the road. 

"I didn't" 

"That's..good" His bestfriend nodded while licking his lips.

"You know I never forget so stop asking me. I have my parents for that" He said tiredly. 

"We just care for you" Sehun sighed before he closed his eyes to indicate their conversation was over. He didn't need that now. Couldn't they let him forget for a minute? Just for a short instant, he wants to be normal. He wants to enjoy a day with his friends without worrying about anything or to return home whenever he wants. He wants to go for walks and to sunbath like anybody would in the summer.

He wants so many things.

"We're here!" Baekhyun exclaimed.

Tonight, he's just a normal, healthy boy.

After locking the car, they looked at the cheap restaurant they would spend their evening and grimaced at the same time. Well, they were only students, of course they couldn't afford to eat at a fancy restaurant but still. Jongdae could have chosen a nicer place. After taking deep breaths (it was all Baekhyun), they finally stepped in the restaurant and looked from left to right in hope to find Jongdae as they didn't know anyone else. The older waved at them from the back of the restaurant and shouted their name as they facepalmed. 

Apparently, everyone was already there and as Sehun counted, there were ten people including Baekhyun and himself. 

Sitting at the only chairs available, Sehun found himself sitting on the girl's side in front of another man. He bit his lower lip before he turned his head to stare at Jongdae showing him his hands, thumbs up. He was even winking at him. God, it would only mean the guy in front of him was his own date! He would have never thought Jongdae would have called one just for Sehun. He wasn't prepared at all.

As he slowly raised his eyes to properly look at his date, his eyes widened a little. The one sitting in front of him had jet black hair with eyes of the same color, they were deep and intense as he stared at Sehun for a second. Holding his breath, Sehun curled his toes before he breathed again and continued to stare at the guy not so discretly. His lips were plump and his skin was flawless. It was tanned and so beautiful as it looked so soft.

All in all, the date Jongdae choose for him was very good-looking. 

Sehun blinked as the man stared at him again with a raised brow and he let out a soft "ah" as the girl on his left poked him. 

"Sehun! It's your turn to present yourself" 

"O-oh" He rubbed his nape as he felt embarassed before he cleared his throat "Well, my name is Oh Sehun, I'm 20 years old and I'm..hmm gay" He noticed his date looking at him before he heard some girls whining.

"That's not fair! I had my eyes on you" 

"Me too" They pouted and Sehun chuckled.

"Ah, that's why there's more men, does that mean he loves boys too? That would just be too bad, the hottest guys at our table would all be gay" She asked as she pointed at the man in front of him and everyone looked at him.

"I'm Kim Jongin, 21 years old and my sexuality doesn't concern you. Plus, it's stupid to label people as "straight", "gay" or something. I like and love who I want" He said with an annoyed face before he put his elbow on the table and hold his head with his hand. The girl blushed and stuttered an apology while Jongdae awkwardly laughed.

"Just leave him be. He's like that because I forced him to come, don't feel obliged to talk to his egghead" The girls nodded and after everyone finished introducing themselves, they were all talking to their own date or like the one they were sitting in front of.

Well, in Sehun's case, it was different. Jongin would not talk to him or look at him. It was like he was in his own world or like he was alone at home, doing whatever. He was tapping his fingers on the table at a rythm only he knew as he stared at something in the distance. 

Sehun frowned, he didn't think his date would ignore him. He tried coughing a few times to have the other's attention but it was to no avail. 

"Jongin" This time, the latter glanced at him before he locked their eyes and Sehun found it difficult to swallow. Thankfully, before he could embarass himself further, the waiter came to their table to take their command and Sehun only ordered a salad for himself while everyone ordered meat dishes. He wasn't really hungry. He heard Jongin asking for two plates of chicken and his eyes widened. How could someone eat so much?

It was all awkward all again when the waiter left and Sehun could only stare at his lap, thinking of his life choices. His bestfriend looked perfectly fine talking to his forever crush and he didn't need him at all. Maybe he could go back home? No, he couldn't just leave like that but he was so bored. He finally sighed contendly as the waiter came back with their orders. At least now, he could eat to occupy himself. As he worked on cutting his salad, he felt Jongin's eyes on him.

"You're only gonna eat that?" He asked in wonder. And as Sehun nodded, he said "Are you on a diet or something?" His mouth was full with chicken and Sehun surprisingly hadn't found it disgusting.

"I'm not a big eater" He smiled as he saw the other frowning.

"Are you kidding me? A salad? You're torturing yourself" He kept on eating as if his life depended on it. 

"I thought you weren't talking" Jongin shrugged as he took a chicken wing in his mouth.

"Do you want some chicken?" He said with eyes begging Sehun to refuse his proposition and he felt like laughing out loud.

"No, I'm fine" Jongin looked at his dishes while he pursed his lips before he took a wing in his hands to give it to Sehun "At least eat one"

Sehun took it from him after a moment "Thank you" He smiled and the other only blinked at him.

"Don't misunderstand, I'm only sorry you ended up with me as your date. You really have no luck" Sehun laughed and bit on the chicken.

"Right"

The group date didn't end as badly as Sehun thought it would in the beginning. He made small talks with Jongin but he knew it would not go anywhere. They only spoke to each other to fill the awkward silence. But that was it. 

As the others wanted to go to a karaoke to continue the date, Sehun told them he would go home and Jongin did too. Baekhyun had wanted to stay with him but he forced him to go as he knew his bestfriend would want to continue his date. He told him he would just walk back. It was only midnight as they waved their friends goodbye and Jongin stretched his body before he yawned.

"Finally! Thought they would never go" Sehun chuckled as he looked at Jongin. He was a bit sad knowing he would never see him again. Even if he hadn't been very talkative, Sehun liked him. He didn't even know why, maybe it was because of his gorgeous body and because of his suave voice. Or maybe it was because he liked how Jongin was being honest and didn't force himself to lie or to talk when he didn't want to. He always did as he wanted without caring of what the others would think of him and Sehun admired him in a way.

"It was nice meeting you Jongin" He genuinely said and the other stopped to look at him.

"..Have a good night Sehun" He told him before he walked away with his hands tucked in his jean's pockets.

Sehun looked at Jongin's back until he disappeared in the darkness.

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

"Honey, Baekhyun is here" His mom knocked on his door as he groaned. 

"Tell him to go away" He whined while he buried his face in his pillow as he still felt extremely sleepy.

"Hey, I heard that!" Sehun sighed as he heard his door opening. 

"What do you want?" Baekhyun turned the lights on as the shutters of Sehun's room were closed like every day. 

"Just wanted you to tell me how your little date went" He grinned as he went to sit beside Sehun's lying form.

"It wasn't even a date to begin with" He mumbled.

"Really? I thought you looked very pleased and shy before him" His bestfriend teased him.

"Obviously you didn't look good enough" He hid his face behind his pillow as he began to feel his cheeks to be warmer.

"Did you do something with him after you left?" Baekhyun moved his eyebrows up and down.

"No, we parted right after" The other pouted "That's no fun"

"Tell me you at least have his number?" As Sehun didn't reply, the older gasped.

"Sehun! Are you joking? Why waste such a chance with a hot guy?" 

"...I know right. I want to die! But.." Sehun sat up while the older hummed "He didn't seem interested" 

As he lowered his head, Baekhyun gasped again " Does he have some shit in the eyes? Look at you, you're gorgeous. All the girls were after you yesterday night, don't just tell me he wasn't interested in you!" 

"Well, he wasn't, ok? Anyway, how did your time with Taeyeon go?" Sehun put his pillow on his lap and began to play with it.

"She agreed to another date. But we'll be alone this time!" Baekhyun shouted excitedly "Man, I'm happy" He let himself fall on Sehun's bed before the other kicked him with his feet.

"Told you she liked you back" His bestfriend got up to hug his friend tightly.

"I'll always listen to you in the future"

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

It was two weeks after the group date when Sehun saw Jongin again.

And he didn't know why but his heart skipped a beat when he looked at him. He tried to forget the guy; to forget the dark eyes and the beautiful voice but he couldn't. He just couldn't. Jongin was lying on the grass in front of the Han river. It was dark but as there were lamppost every ten meters, Sehun could recognize him. He didn't know if he should go greet him or simply continue his walk but he knew he would regret it if he did the latter.

So he moved forward until he was beside Jongin. And the other slowly opened his eyes as he felt a presence by his sides. 

"You..." He blinked before he furrowed his brows "What do you want?" 

Sehun didn't remember Jongin being this rude the other time but he felt a little hurt at the way the older was talking to him.

"Can I lie beside you?" 

"This is a public place. You do what you want" He said while he closed his eyes again and Sehun carefully lied down. He gazed at the sky quite hoping to see some stars but he couldn't find any.

"There isn't any stars..." He whispered, disappointed.

"This is Seoul, did you really expect to see them?" Jongin answered with an arm resting on his eyes. 

"We can see the stars sometimes" 

"But do you find it normal we can only see them sometimes when there are so many of them?" Sehun frowned as Jongin turned his head to look at him. They stared at each other's eyes for a moment before Sehun smiled.

"Are you one of these people who hate the whole world?" 

"I'm just someone who is tired of living" Jongin looked at the dark sky again with a blank face.

"Why? Life is beautiful, it is something you should appreciate and make the most of. Of course you'll encounter some difficulties but that's what life is. To learn and move on"

"You don't even look like you believe in your words" Sehun lowered his eyes.

"..You're right. I talk about things I don't even know as if I am. I want to live as in to feel alive, I really want to...But I don't know how. I can't. Everyday is the same routine and the same problem. I hate it"

"We should just run away" Jongin suddenly said.

"Maybe it would solve your issue but it will not solve mine. Only death can in my case" Sehun said with a sad smile.

"And you just told me that life was a beautiful thing" The older chuckled "See, death is the solution to everything" He closed his eyes as he let the wind blow on his hair. 

"I disagree" He said with a sharp voice making Jongin surprised as he looked back at him "Because even if I'll have this problem all my life, at least, I would still be alive and breathing for the time being. And that what matters"

"To be alive?" 

"To exist. To be a part of this world. To have received a chance to be here" 

"Don't think of death yet Jongin. Let it come for you. Just live"

Jongin raised to his feet as Sehun looked at him confusedly. He sat up on the grass and Jongin offered him his hand to help him getting up.

"Do you want to go for a walk?"

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

They walked silently for half an hour before Jongin took out a pack of cigarettes from his pockets. Sehun frowned as he looked at him lighting up one.

"You smoke" He said.

"Are you disappointed?" Jongin inhaled smoke as he stared at him, a bit curious of what Sehun would reply.

"I am. Do you really want to kill yourself that much?"

"Who knows" The older chuckled as he continued to smoke. 

"Stop smoking" Jongin laughed for a whole minute at Sehun's statement. What was so funny?

"Do you really think I'll listen to you? I mean we're not even friends and you're telling me to stop smoking? I don't understand why you're so concerned with my health" 

"There's no reason" Jongin shook his head before he took a drag from his cigarette, letting it hang between his lips. He hold it between his index and his middle finger before he exhaled the smoke again.

"I find the smoke beautiful" He softly said "It's like I see a part of me leaving my body each time I exhale. I always wonder after how many cigarette there would be nothing left of me. I keep counting, you know. This is my 2806th one" He waved his cigarette in front of Sehun's eyes "Unfortunately, I'm still here"

"Jongin..." 

"So stop being concerned for someone who obviously doesn't need it" Sehun stopped walking as he sadly looked at Jongin's back with the smoke trailing behind him.

Jongin is broken but Sehun knows he wants to be helped even if he says everything to prove the contrary.

Jongin isn't counting for when he will die but for when someone would save him.

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

Sehun hasn't many things to do during the day. He can only stay inside his house anyway. As he stays up all night, he usually wake up around 4 or 5PM but he would have to find ways to occupy himself until the night and it was always hell. He finished all the books there was in his house, he watched all the dramas there was to watch and read all the scans there was to read. He even learned languages like english, japanese and french. He played the piano when he felt courageous enough and learned some hard choregraphies.

Well, he had all the days in his life to do all that but now, he felt terribly bored. What could he do? 

As he blew a raspberry, he heard the ringbell and frowned. Who could it be? Just after, he heard his mother calling for him. 

"Sehun! There is someone for you!" It couldn't be Baekhyun as he was with his girlfriend. The two of them has went on three dates before Taeyeon agreed to become Baekhyun's girlfriend. Now, they were joined at the hip as whenever Baekhyun came over, Taeyeon would come with him. It was ok though, Sehun was glad his bestfriend was happy.

As he wanted to open the door of his room, it opened of its own. Jongin was the one to enter his bedroom and Sehun gasped as he saw him.

"What are you...doing here?!"

"Nice pajama" Jongin smirked and the younger blushed as he looked at his clothes. He was wearing his totally spies pajamas and he blushed deeply as he felt embarassed.

"I-I'm not..I mean I don't- it's not mine okay?! I don't watch Totally Spies at all and I don't have a crush on Alex ok?! Now shut up!"

"Right" The older snorted as he looked at Sehun's chamber "It's so messy" He said with disgust "And why are the stutters all closed? It's like four in the afternoon" Jongin said as he move to open them.

"Don't!! Don't open them Jongin!" He shouted in fear.

"..Alright" The older was bewildered "Didn't know it was a crime" He raised his hands before he went to sit on the only chair he found in front of Sehun's desk.

The younger sighed in relief as he felt his heartbeat decrease consequently.

"Your whole house is dark as fuck. Is it a policy to not open the curtains here or..?"

"Why are you here?" Sehun asked as he sat on his bed again "Not that I'm complaining but.." He widened his eyes "How did you find my adress?!"

"Well, mafia members can find the adress of anyone they want, don't you agree?"

"Wh-at?" Sehun asked, astonished.

"I'm joking. Oh my god, if you could see your face!" Jongin laughed "Don't worry, I only had to ask Jongdae for your adress" He said as he tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"Stupid" He mumbled "But why?" He hadn't seen Jongin for three weeks when he had let him go the other night. He thought Jongin made it clear he didn't to see Sehun again. But here was Jongin. He was the one to come back to Sehun.

"I don't know. Let's just say I like you" 

"So one day, you'll tell me the reason you are so unhappy?" Jongin hummed.

"If you'll tell me yours"

 As Jongin looked around, his curious eyes landed on Sehun " Are you the one who choose your room's wallpaper?" 

"I did" 

"Why so many flowers though? And they all look the same" Jongin pursed his lips.

"They are called Hélianthe in french. From the Greek, it literally means sunflower.They are my favorite flowers, they comprise more than 70 species" 

"Why these flowers then?"

"Because they look like the sun" Sehun smiled.

"That's it?" The older didn't seem convinced.

"That's it" He nodded.

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

After that time, Jongin and him would see each other almost everyday either at Sehun's house or at a place at night. They even called each other sometimes now that they had their respective numbers and Sehun's feelings began to grow more and more. 

Until one afternoon when he woke up with a "Shit, I'm in love with Jongin".

 

_"Don't you think you deserve to love, Sehun?"_

_"I don't know Baekhyun. It will only complicate things" He sighed._

_"Do you really think so? I think it will only save you both"_

_"You need to tell Jongin the truth Sehun"_

_"And then what?"_

_"And then you two can be together"_

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

"Let's see each other. I want to tell you something" Sehun listened to Jongin's panting as it was the only sound who was breaking the silence.

"Jongin" The older wasn't talking back and Sehun began to worry.

"Sehun.." He whimpered through the phone, sounding like he was hurting.

"Jongin! Are you ok? What happened?!" He asked worriedly but the other wouldn't tell him anything.

"Where are you Jongin? Please, tell me!" 

"Don't..."

"I already know where you are anyway, I'm coming Jongin. Wait for me, ok?" After hanging up, he quickly dressed up before he left his house in a rush. He was almost running as he walked very fast to join the older. He was sure he would be lying in front of the river like everytime. As the sun set not too long before, it was still hot and Sehun sweated a little as he walked faster. He was very worried for Jongin, the latter really seemed hurt.

Finally arriving in front of the Han river, Sehun put his hands on his knees to breathe and looked for Jongin. As he finally spotted him at his usual place, he ran to him and what he saw frightened him.

"Jongin!" He kneeled beside him and took Jongin's face in his hands. The older's face was covered in blood and his lips were bruised. As Sehun looked at his body, he noticed he also had some blood on his shirt. 

"Jongin, do you hear me?!" The older groaned as he opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times. Keeping only one open, he stared at Sehun and whimpered when he tried to get up.

"Don't move! We..we need to go to the hospital!"

"N-no..."

"I'll..I'll go buy some disinfectant and such then" As he ran to the nearest convenience store, he felt tears rolling down his face.Seeing Jongin in this state got him so scared. The only thing he thought of when he saw him was "don't die, please don't die, don't die". To see the one you love in such a state, it hurt, it hurt so much. And Sehun never wanted to see him covered in blood again. The sight was so horrendous, he knew Jongin will survive but he couldn't help but to think of the worse. And then he thought "I'll die soon", the roles would reverse. He couldn't do that to Jongin.

He couldn't tell him he love him and to leave him just after. He couldn't telll him he wished to live longer, even only one more day, one more hour if it's with Jongin. He couldn't tell him Jongin was his everything at the moment, that he was the only one he thought about all day and that he really wished to kiss him once. It would be too painful. Sehun would be dead but Jongin? He would have to live with all of that in mind.

After buying all he needed, he returned by Jongin's side and helped him to sit up. The latter winced when Sehun removed his shirt in order to attend him properly. He let out a quiet sob when he saw the torso of Jongin. It was all bruised and there was a lot of scars, some large, some very tiny. But there were so many of them.

Jongin glanced at Sehun through his bangs before he lowered his head. He tried to laugh but he soon felt the hurt again.

"Not a pretty sight, huh?" Jongin closed his eyes with a rictus. Sehun was trying his best to not make a sound and took the cotton and disinfectant in his hands. As he put some of the latter on the cotton, he slowly pressed it on the recent wound on Jongin's chest with quivering lips. Jongin clenched his eyes and his jaw while Sehun couldn't bear the sight. He would do anything for Jongin to not feel the pain but he couldn't do anything apart from tending his wounds.

When he gently caressed the bruise on Jongin's cheek with his thumb, the latter lifted his head to stare at Sehun's beautiful eyes. 

"Sehun..." 

"Please don't say it" Sehun wept "Please, don't" He kept on tending to the older's wounds while Jongin stared at him.

"Weren't you the one who told me to not run away?" Jongin whispered.

"I never said that" Jongin leaned in Sehun's hand before he slightly turned his head to press a small kiss on the younger's knuckles. 

After Sehun finished, he helped Jongin wear back his shirt before they both lied down on the grass. After a moment, Jongin lit a cigarette.

"You know, my life is the typical drama story. My mother cheated on my father when I was ten and she left home to live with her lover. My father bacame crazy and began to drink every night until it became everytime. The first time he hit me was when I was twelve, never would I have imagined my father capable of that. He was the nicest guy in the neighborhood, you know. Everyone admired him, I did too at first. He was a successful surgeon after all, he saved lives. But at the same time, he was taking mine. One day, I had to go to the emergency room and I almost couldn't walk anymore. When they asked me how I had all these wounds, I told them I was bullied by some kids in the neighborhood but that I didn't know their names" He inhaled a long drag, letting it the time to enter his lungs entirely before he exhaled slowly "I protected him. And I still do"

"Why did you not move out of your house?" Sehun's face was covered with tears and as he looked at Jongin, he could see he was crying too.

"I don't know. Maybe it is because I like the pain. Maybe it's because I think that one day, he'll succeed on killing me and I'm waiting for that day"

"Jongin.." He turned his head to look at Sehun with a sad smile.

"Nobody loves me, Sehun. Nobody ever did, even my family doesn't love me. How could I love myself?" 

"That's not true!" 

"Really? And who might love me, Sehun? Tell me" Jongin looked at him with hopeful eyes and Sehun bit his lips. Just before, he promised to himself to never confess to the older. He didn't want Jongin to be hurt in the future. But Jongin was already hurting at the moment. He had been for eleven years and he needed to feel loved too. He needed to be happy and to have someone who could take him in his arms and whisper lovely words. Jongin deserved all that. And Sehun would gave him what he wants, what he needs even if he couldn't do it for too long. If Sehun would have to die tomorrow, he would die in Jongin's embrace.

"I do" The taller smiled as his eyes crinkled.

"Say it"

"I love you Jongin. I love you. I love you so much and I-" He let out a squeal when he felt lips pressing fully on his. Jongin pulled away to look into the younger's eyes as he looked at Sehun with eyes full of admiration before he leaned in with closed eyes again. Slowly locking their lips together, Jongin moved to hover Sehun's body as he supported himself with his forearms. He winced against Sehun's mouth but kept on kissing him. Jongin tilted his head slightly before he licked the other's lower lip with his tongue. As Sehun put his hands around the taller's nape, Jongin slid one of his hand down Sehun's body until he let it still on his hip. Pulling away to breathe loudly, Jongin attacked the younger's mouth again as he raised Sehun's right leg for him to rest it on Jongin's lower back. This time, Jongin put his tongue inside Sehun's mouth and the latter let him do as he pleased. Jongin licked everything from Sehun's teeth to the inside of his cheeks. And when the younger moaned, he broke their kiss to rest his forehead on Sehun's. 

As Sehun stared at Jongin's eyes, he found a new glow inside them. A glow that wasn't there before. Something that made Jongin far more beautiful than he already was.

"I love you too Sehun" He pecked the younger on his lips again before he lied beside him. Sehun carefully trapped the other's body with an arm and a leg while he rubbed his head on Jongin's arm.

He didn't need to think of the future anymore. With Jongin, he'll only think of what they have now.

Only now.

 

When Sehun opened his eyes, he frowned as he heard his favourite song playing in the distance. It was a song called Threads by This Will Destroy You. The song always gave him hope and a feeling of contentment. But he couldn't understand why it was playing now. He remembered putting it as his ringtone and it would only mean the sun would rise soon.

Satting up, he looked at the hour on his phone and it displayed 5AM. He had twenty minutes to go back home. 

"Jongin! Fuck Jongin, I have to go home" He cried as he stood up and thought of what to do.

"Sehun..? Wha-"

But Sehun was already running. He could do it. He could. From his house to the river, he has to walk 30 minutes but if he run, he had a chance to enter his house before the sun would rise.

"Sehun!!" He heard Jongin shout behind him but he couldn't stop now. His mind was blank as he kept on running. He felt tired in no time as he never really exercised but he couldn't give up. He didn't want to die now that he and Jongin confessed their love to each other. But as his legs weakened, he had to run a little slower and he swored. As he was almost home, rays of sunshine appeared from behind the houses and burned Sehun's skin. He had lowered his head but he felt the burn sensation on his nape, arms and legs. 

He whimpered as it felt too painful and as he finally spotted his house, he made a beeline for it and quickly entered the house. Now panting fast and loudly, he let himself slide down the door. He was crying as his mother saw him.

"Sehun! Where were you?! We were so worried, your father went to look for you but- god did you feel the sun??"

"Mom.." He whispered while his mother began to sob. She quickly called his father for him to bring them to the hospital. 

"It's ok, honey. Everything will be ok, don't worry" She said as she tried to reassure them both.

"I saw the sun mom..I felt the warmth on my skin. It was so beautiful" He cried "I'm so happy"

 

When Sehun's father came back, they put a blanket on him and they entered the car through the garage. The windows were tinted and there were sun visor on them for the sun to not enter the car. As they finally arrived at the hospital, Sehun closed his eyes.

At the exact moment, Jongin was knocking on Sehun's door and sat in front of his house for hours.

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ 

 

"Never do that to us again Sehun. We were so worried, we thought..we thought" His mother wept.

"Mom, I'm ok. It's just little burns, don't worry. The doctor said there weren't any complications" He tiredly smiled.

"They can't be sure. I am-"

"Mom" He cut her off.

"Y-yes?" 

 

"Can you pass me my phone, please?" She hesitated but opened her bag nevertheless to retrieve and give him his phone. As he turned it on, he saw he had more than ten missed call and fifteen text messages. They were all from Jongin.

**Sehun, where did u go??**

**Are you ok?**

**Why did you ran off like that?**

**Please at least tell me you're ok.**

**Please**

**I'm waiting for you beside your house**

Sehun smiled as he looked at all the messages Jongin sent him and he decided to send a message to him and Baekhyun.

**I'm at the hospital right now. Room 286**

Baekhyun was surely still asleep but he hoped that Jongin would come. 

"Mom, go home. You have to work today"

"But-"

"Don't worry for me" She looked at him before she agreed. After she kissed his cheek, she left him in his room. Sehun closed his eyes as he lied down. It hurt so much. He felt as his skin was still burning but he didn't want his parents to worry unnecessarily. When he tried to take a nap, the door of his room opened abruptly.

"Sehun!" Jongin ran to his sides and sat beside him on the bed "What happened to you?" 

"Don't we make a good pair?" He chuckled but the other only furrowed his brows. After a moment, Sehun spoke again.

"Do you know why I can only see you at night and why are the stutters in my home are always closed?" Jongin watched him closely as he waited for Sehun to elaborate.

"They call us the children of the night. It sounds beautiful, doesn't it? Like it's something unreal, a sort of fantasy. It doesn't even sound like it's a fucking disease. But then, there's another name for what I have: Xeroderma Pigmentosum.  They should have called it you're-never-going-to-see-the-light-of-the-sun disease"

"That's quite a long name for a disease.." They both smiled.

"They say less than 40% of the individuals who have this disease survive beyond the age of twenty"

"Sehun..."

"Can you love somone who is bond to die soon Jongin?" 

"I already told you, didn't I? I love you. And nothing of what you say matters to me. I'll always love you" Jongin bend to kiss Sehun lovingly.

"Jongin..."Sehun smiled through his tears "I'd love to stay and to see you age. See how you'll turn more and more beautiful each day and watch your hair slowly turning white and to witness wrinkles slowly appearing on your skin.  I wouldn't want to miss your wrinkled ass, you know" They both chuckled.

"You will, Sehun"

"So promise me" Jongin was trying to wipe Sehun's tears as his own were rolling on the sides of his face "Promise me you'll stop smoking. Promise me you'll live. For me. Promise me you'll stop letting your father hurt you and that you'll begin enjoy your life"

"Don't talk as if you're dying today. It's..it's weird" He frowned.

"I'm not. At least, I think but I want you to promise me, Jongin"

"..I promise you"

"Thank you" 

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

Sehun stared at the beach Jongin has taken Sehun to from the window. They were at a hotel in Incheon as Jongin insisted on taking them. Sehun's burns were healed but there were stains left on his skin. After that day, Jongin had visited the younger everyday and wouldn't leave before the nurses demand him to.

And everyday, he would bring something. 

_"A flower?"_

_"Well, you said you loved Hélianthe flowers, didn't you? This is a sunflower" He rubbed his nape awkwardly as he blushed a little "I hope you don't find it too corny but I thought you would maybe like it"_

_"I do" He said while taking the flower from the other's hand before he smelt it "Thank you Jongin"_

_"I thought..I thought that if you can't see the sun then..then I'd bring one to you. You said it looked like the sun so.." As Sehun felt like crying, he tried to laugh while he sobbed at the same time._

_"It's very thoughtful of you"_

"Do you wanna go to the beach?" Jongin hugged him from behind as he kissed Sehun's neck. The latter nodded before he turned around to kiss his boyfriend. 

"Let's go"

They went for a walk on the beach with their hands tightly clutching together. It was cold as the wind was blowing a bit strongly but it was still ok to stay outside. They were the only one as it was night and people were already all sleeping. But it was better this way. The world was theirs.

Suddenly Jongin stopped walking and let go of Sehun's hand. 

And then Sehun was utterly surprised as he stared at the other who went down on bended knee in front of him. Jongin looked up at him while he took the younger's hands in his own.

"You are someone wonderful Sehun. I need you to know that I love you. Very much. I was intrigued by you since the first time I saw you. Sure, I thought you were beautiful and also very cute but there was something else. We didn't even talk that much but strangely I wanted to see you again. And you found me. You tried to help me but I never let someone in before you, you know? I didn't know how to react or what to say to you so I ran away. That's all I always do. But I already liked you at that time and I wouldn't stop thinking of you so I decided to look for you. All the time we spent by the river was my favourite. I really miss it, you know. Just us lying there beside each other. I was really happy someone cared, someone was willing to do anything for me. I didn't know someone like me would ever have someone like you by my side, Sehun. You're beautiful in and out, you're everything I always needed." Sehun was quietly crying as Jongin lowered his head for a moment before he pulled one of his hand away to take something from his pocket.

It was a ring.

He carefully slid it into Sehun's left annular and looked back at the younger as he smiled.

"I'm not asking you to marry me Sehun. This is a promise. A promise that someday I will. I don't have enough money yet to dare to ask you to marry me so you'll have to wait a little more ok?" He chuckled "This ring was cheap but when I'll find a real job and I'll earn enough, I'll buy you the best ring out there because you deserve it. You deserve all the good things in the world Sehun and I want to give them all to you"

"Jongin.." He wept.

"So..so just, stay with me until then, ok?" He cried as he kissed Sehun's fingers "Stay with me" 

"Of course"

 

That night, Jongin hold Sehun tightly against him as he rocked into his body. He needed to know Sehun was there, that he was not leaving. He behaved as if he was always strong in front of his boyfriend but it wasn't the truth at all. He was scared, so scared of losing Sehun. Sehun wanted him to live but how could he when Sehun was his life? He couldn't lose him when he had just found him. It was unfair, so unfair that someone like Sehun had to suffer like he was. One day, he said to Sehun that if he could, he would be sick instead of him but Sehun only told him to stop being ridiculous. He said that the sickness was a part of him and that he accepted it. 

"Uhh, Jong..in" Sehun moaned while the other continued to pound into his asshole. He felt so loved as Jongin was kissing his whole body. Jongin kept on moaning his name as he thrusted in him and Sehun was so happy his first time was with Jongin. The latter had done nothing else but to love Sehun deeply and Sehun was pleased he could make Jongin feel good, just as Jongin was making him feel very good. 

When they both came, they panted against each other's mouth before they shared a chaste kiss and lied down facing each other.

"Thank you Jongin" Sehun said as he raised his left hand to look at his ring.

"Stop thanking me. If anything I should be the one to say it" The younger only smiled before he closed his eyes. 

"You know you'll never have a future with me. You'll not be able to have children neither a calm life"

"I don't care"

"You're only going to worry about me all the time and to put up with my sickness"

"I don't care Sehun. I love you" He locked their lips together for a long time but neither of them moved.

"I don't need a future with you or children or a peaceful life. I just need you here with me. If you're here with me at the moment, then it's ok. I don't need anything else" Jongin said without pulling away from Sehun's lips. 

 

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

 

Sehun died five months later just before his birthday. He had been diagnosed with a skin cancer one month after their little trip to Incheon and as much as they were both crestfallen, they tried their best not to let it show. Especially Jongin. He couldn't let Sehun go with a sad memory. He didn't want to let Sehun go at all but it was inevitable. The cancer couldn't be removed. 

And from that moment, Jongin didn't leave Sehun side for a minute. He would sleep at Sehun's home and live there. He would take care of him and surprise him all the time with little presents or lingering kisses. When Sehun was admitted to the hospital, he panicked as he couldn't sleep beside his boyfriend at nights. He would always leave at evenings with a frown and a glare towards the nurses. But in the mornings, he would return with a helianthus flower and his heart would swell when Sehun would smile at him.

He was scared. So scared but he didn't want to show it to Sehun. If Sehun could still smile, Jongin would too.

Jongin had prepared so many things for Sehun's birthday. He had wanted to marry Sehun right there in his hospital chamber. He had even payed a priest to marry them. Both of their family and friends were aware of what he planned and were glad to help him financially for him to buy beautiful rings. 

Jongin had talk to his father and explained to him that he couldn't consider him as his father anymore. That's when the other cried and begged him to forgive him. For everything. He said he never wanted to become like the man he was now and that he knew he needed help. And just like Sehun was Jongin's savior, Jongin wanted to be his father's. He never knew a simple conversation with his father would change so many things. Alcohol was banned from the house and their relationship changed for the better. It was awkward but at least, they could talk. And when Jongin talk about Sehun to his father, the latter took him into his arms. 

That's when Jongin broke down. It felt so good to have your father hugging you and conforting you. He had tightly hugged his father back and had sobbed for a long moment. 

"Do everything you want to do now, Jongin. I don't want you to regret anything..like I do" His father said. And that's when he decided he would ask Sehun to marry him.

But three days before he could, Sehun left. 

_"Jongin...can you..hold my hand?" He asked painfully. Jongin automatically hold his hand._

_"What is it? Do you feel unwell?" The other shook his head while he smiled with tired eyes._

_"I feel...my soul leaving. I think this is the end" Jongin's lips were quivering as he did his best to hold his tears._

_"Don't joke around"_ _But as he saw Sehun closing his eyes, he understood._

_"I love you Jongin. Please tell the others..I love them too"_

_"I will. I love you Sehun. I will always love you" He said as he raised their hands to pepper Sehun's hands with kisses. His tears were falling down on their hands as Sehun's breath became slow._

_"Have a good sleep, love"_

 

It was difficult, so difficult to pull his life together after Sehun's death. 

But Jongin tried. He tried so hard for Sehun. Everynight before sleeping, he would stare at his left annular where he put both Sehun's ring and his. He didn't get the opportunity to give it to Sehun. But, like that it was like a part of Sehun was always with him. 

Baekhyun was always there for him as he was Sehun's bestfriend. When Jongin had left his boyfriend's room that day, Baekhyun was the one to take him in his arms. Jongin hugged him tightly as he had cried all the tears he had. His father was there for him too as well as Sehun's family.

_"Thank you for giving happiness to our son. I'm so glad he had you, Jongin. I could never thank you enough"_

They invited him to dinner sometimes and it was very painful to enter Sehun's house again but at the same time, it felt good to go back there. Sometimes, he felt as if he was still alive and waited for Jongin to finish dinner in his bedroom. And after eating, Jongin would always go to Sehun's room for an hour and lie on his bed. He would remember all the time he spent beside Sehun.

He was so happy he had the chance to meet Sehun. 

Sehun's stutters were now always open no matter what. And the rays of sunshines could enter his room for the first time. And as Jongin looked at them making their way on the wallpaper, he smiled. 

 

_"Why these flowers then?"_

_"Because they look like the sun" Sehun smiled._

_"That's it?" The older didn't seem convinced._

_"That's it" He nodded_

 

He understood. 

 

Never lose hope. Sehun was gone but Jongin would join him one day anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> It is rushed and not good at all. I'm so sorry..  
> Still, thank you for reading~! ♥


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